I think back to my early twenties. I spent so much time pining instead of living.
I think back to choices I made and sins I let in. How could I have been so stupid?
A friend reminds me of an event we shared. I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have.
I am gushing with a friend over her ring. An image comes to mind of when I had one on my finger. Will I ever have a ring on my finger again?
I am reminded of how I wallowed in guilt and shame. All that time I wasted in self loathing.
Then this morning God brought a song that answered all of these. Every Mile Mattered.
God helped me to see these things through His perspective. Even the times that I desperately wish were different were a part of what shaped me. Even the times that I was falling behind God was working. Ultimately God is weaving All of my life into His master plan. All the tears, pain, and difficulties are in the hands of the Master. He uses them for His Divine purpose.
Did He cause me to sin? No. He never tempts me. Always He is calling me. In the pain and tears (even the ones I bring on myself) He is calling me to leave the sinful path. He keeps offering me life to the full.
So today when I look back on those pictures or think about events that happened I can say this, yes that is a part of my past. But by God's grace I don't have to live there. I can live free from the guilt. I can know that God is using all of these threads (even the black ones) for His glory and my good. He is taking even the squandered opportunities and redeeming them.
So Lord, I give my past to You once again. Take these broken and messed up parts of my past. Teach me to see them as you do. Teach me to trust You in all things. Teach me to look to You to build a better tomorrow.
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