A Dormant Season

      

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I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I was walking outside. The air was chilly. The seasons were changing. I was scared.

It was fall of 2017. The year had been a hard one of my own making. I had cried and been through so much pain. As the cold weather came, I could feel the cold setting into my heart. Somehow I knew that this wasn't just another change in seasons. It was the beginning of a season that I would look a lot like the world around me. The color would be gone and things would be dormant. And I didn't want to be dormant. I wanted to be made whole.

So I cried. "Lord, I don't want to be here. I want to be full of life again. I don't want this season of dormancy."

He was so calm and gentle with me. He came and spoke the encouragement I needed to hear. "This season will come. Yes it will look like you are dormant, but that is not the full picture. This season will be one of deep healing. I am here with you. Embrace it."

I took a deep breath. I knew He was right. In that moment I surrendered myself to Him and embraced the winter. 

The cold came. The trees dropped their leaves. The world went dormant. Yet in that season, God still walked with me. Even in the hidness and dormancy of winter, God worked healing. 

I praise God that dormant seasons aren't forever. Just as winter comes, spring also comes. He leads us through all seasons for His names sake. He heals broken, surrendered hearts for His glory.

Lord, I come to You afresh today. You have me in this time and place for a purpose. This season is of Your making. I pray that I would be surrendered wholly and completely to You. That I may walk through this season in a way that honors You. Amen. 

A Hope Surrendered

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I have held onto a hope for a long time. 

A hope of marriage.

A hope that one day a guy would look lovingly into my eyes and cherish me forever.

A hope of a happy home with children.

For years this hope has been deferred. 

For years my heart has been sick.

Recently I listened to what Darlene Diebler Rose did with a hope deferred.

She had a dream of living life with her husband after the war. 

She prayed and asked God for it to happen. 

Instead she received news that her beloved husband had died. 

She cried. 

She prayed. 

And then she surrendered her deferred hope to God. 

It's easy in many ways to surrender to God a fulfilled hope.

When all is smiles and joy, it is easy to gladly give Him the hope we treasure. 

But what do we do with deferred hope?

Hope that seems impossible.

Hope that is making your heart sick.

Hope that leaves a hole in your soul. 

I bring it to God.

I offer it up to Him.

I withhold nothing from the Savior who withholds no good thing from me.

I entrust this hope into His hands.

And in that moment He comes and fills my heart.

He comes and comforts me. 

He heals what has been sick. 

He fills the void. 

Christ is worthy of hopes fulfilled and those that are deferred. 

He is worthy of all.

Let me always surrender all into His hands.

Hope

When I was 10 my sister Rebekkah went into the hospital with a collapsed lung and a strep infection that threatened every organ in her body. Less than 12 hours after admitting her, they called my parents in and prepared them for her death.
At home I was making party hats for the party to welcome Rebekkah home. My sister Sarah came in and was befuddled by what I was doing. "It's going to be months if that before she comes home. Why are you making these now?" I don't remember what I answered her. But I remember keeping on making the hats.
Praise God that despite what a lot of doctors told my parents, we got to use those party hats one month later. She came home and recovered well.
Now as I think about those hats 18 years later, I thank God for the gift of hope. A gift that looks rediculous to outsiders. You do crazy things when you are guided by a hope in God. Things that look as silly as making party hats before you know if the party will happen.
But our God is a God of crazy hope. Hope that one day there will be a world without pain. Hope that God will be true to His promises. Hope that the future God has planned will outweigh the pain of the past.
Let those words sink into your soul.
Now what can you do to live out hope? You have been given the gift of hope beyond yourself. Use it today. Start that project. Sing that song with gusto. Dream about a bright future. Walk in the hope that has been given.
Don't be afraid to look funny. Step out and do something expressing hope. Watch and see how it grows your faith.