His Strength

I sat down on the floor of the darkened room. The children slept peacefully. I had reached on end. The conversation with God went something like this.

"God I can't do any more. I've poured out everything I have on these friends. I'm working and trying to be there for those that need me. I've been fighting in prayer, texting, calling, and pouring out. Now I have nothing left to give. I'm done."

"Daughter, don't give up. Keep loving."

"Lord, I can't. I told You. I have nothing left in my resources. I'm empty. I know that these friends need more from me. Yet I don't have it in me to give them."

"You can't do this in your own strength. Look to Me. I will provide all that you need." 

As I sat there I found He had filled the emptiness with His love and grace. I knew that I could love those that I had been given to love that day. It wasn't in my own strength and power. It was in His. He had filled me to continue doing what He had called me to do. He had given me the love that I needed to pour out onto others. 

It's just another tangible example to me that the power to live this life doesn't come from me. It comes from Him. He is the Source and Giver of all life. He is gracious and will give me all that I need.

Today if you are feeling stretched thin and like you can't go on, reach out for His limitless strength. He longs to be more than you could ever imagine. 

Soundbite Or Symphony

Source

At Thanksgiving my extended family gets together at my great aunts house for dinner. It's always a fun time to catch up with relatives that we only see once a year.
Last Thanksgiving I was feeling a little insecure. I had recently left my daycare job and was waiting to hear back from the preschool that I wanted to get hired at. I still didn't have a boyfriend. Nothing had really changed in my life since 2017. At least not on the surface. Essentially when people would ask me how I was doing I feel like the answer would come out something like this, "Well, I'm currently unemployed, single, and I no idea what next year will look like." I mean I still have a great family and a good life, but at that moment I felt like compared to so many of my cousins who have spouses and amazing careers my life wan't making a good soundbite.
On the car trip home I was talking to God. I felt like I had fallen short. Yet God had a different perspective.  "Your life isn't meant to be lived for the soundbites. It's meant to be lived for the symphony. The life that you live creates a symphony for Me." It was then I started to hear it. The symphony that God was writing. The notes that only I perceive. The seemly random "instruments" that come together to make a beautiful whole. The lower notes that add a richness to the whole and the high notes that spur me on.
No one writes a symphony better than God. While my life may not always sound the bet when I condense it into ten seconds, God is always making a good symphony. If I look back on the whole and listen I can hear it. I can hear they beautiful strain of His story. I can hear my little part in it and smile.
So I can go on, knowing that He is creating a symphony that no soundbite can due justice to.