Thankful Thursday #2

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Today I want to list a as many of the friends past and present that have meant so much to me. I'm deeply grateful for each one of the names on this list. I could write a whole blog post about each one of these amazing people and the impact that they have had, but for now I'm going to list them.

My Dad

My mom

Sarah Holman 

Michael Holman

Grace Holman

Rebekkah Holman

Mikayla Holman

The Larkin Family 

Debra

Joanna

Mallorie 

Heidi

Keri

Victoria 

Amy

Kay

Lisa

Lory

The Perry Family 

Rosetta

Hannah

DeAnna

Sarah K

Oksana 

Erin

The Orlando sisters

Anna S

Anna T

Faith

Emma

Andrea 

Shelli

Janice

Hannah M

Kim

Vangie

Keri H

Kennedy 

My awesome coworkers

My church family 

My old filmmaking buddies

My hospital volunteer friends

And for the countless people who came into my life for only a moment, but had a tremendous impact. 

For all of these I am so grateful. 

Feeling Shelved?

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Dear friend,

If you are feeling lonely and left out, this is for you. 

If you feel like you've been shelved and forgotten, I have something to tell you. 

Take a moment. 

Breathe in. 

Breathe out. 

God is here. 

Look at some of the beauty around you. 

God is here. 

Remember the blessings you do have. 

God is still here. 

He hasn't forgotten you. 

He holds you. 

He cares about the little things. 

His plan for you is still on track. 

Let Him love you in this moment. 

Its always hard to feel forgotten and alone. 

Don't do it alone. 

Reach out to a friend. 

Let them encourage you.

Take time to remember God's goodness and love together. 

Do something fun together. 

Next be on the lookout for God. 

He sees you in those moments and He will answer your prayers. 

He will remind you that He is here.

We all have times we feel lonely and forgotten, but the truth is that inside of Christ we are never alone.

We are always wanted. 

We are always loved. 

We always have a friend. 

Our lives have a purpose that can never be taken away. 

Rest in His care my friend. 

You are not shelved and forgotten. 

You are loved. 

In Him, Rose 

Tell Me

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I had a conversation recently that I've had a lot over the past few years. People hear that I'm still single and they tell me some version of this, "You know Rose, just when you think you are never going to get a guy, one appears. I mean I have a friend that she stopped wanting to be married and that's when God brought a dream boat of a guy into her life." I listen. I know they want encourage me. They hope is that this desire would be satisfied soon. For that my heart warms. It's actually kinda sweet how many people out there want me to be in a relationship. 

But honestly there are a few things that I want even more than being in a relationship. I want to know that single or married, God will satisfy my soul. I want to know that God will be around every corner not just another prospect. I want to know that God will fill me on every lonely night if I come to Him. I want to know that through God's power I can reach out in love and kindness to those around me whether I'm backed by a guy or not. I want to know that I can live fully alive and happy now. 

Even more than wanting a guy, I want to Christ. I want to be immersed in Him. I want His Spirit to fill me. I want to be sold out to Him. I want to love Him even more. 

In the past I put my hope in a guy. But that hope was sadly misplaced. It led to nowhere good. Now as I look towards the future, I want my hope to be placed solely in Christ. I want to follow and trust Him no matter what. 

Does that mean that I don't talk to guys or that I don't notice cute ones? No, I am still human and I still have longings. But it means I want my focus to be on God. I want to be seeking His Kingdom and the righteousness that comes from Him. Whatever else He chooses to give me is His gift. He owes me nothing, yet chooses to give me much. I want to live in grateful service to Him anticipating Him to fill me. Will there be hang-ups and downs along the way? Yes. I'm still human and will need help. Yet God has never disappointed me. Hope in Him has never been in vain. Nothing that I have done in love comes back fruitless.

Personally I would rather be anticipating God than anything else. 

For My Single And Married Friends

Photo credit: Mikayla Holman

One of the things I have noticed on Facebook is a lot of posts aimed at singles that go something like this, (picture of me and my guy) single women wait for a love like this. 

Through the years I have read a lot of these posts and come away feeling more discouraged. I know the people who posted this meant well, but when I read this post I feel like it spotlights my singleness. Their fullness spotlights my emptiness. Their relationship status highlights mine. Their wait being over spotlights my (sometimes hard) wait.

When you write a post or are having a conversation, where does the spotlight fall? Sadly I feel like all too often I read these posts and turn the spotlight toward me and what I wish I had. I choose to look at the waiting and the downsides to singleness. 

But where should I be focusing? Toward myself or toward the all sufficient Christ? When I choose to point the spotlight toward Christ and the gospel a change takes place. As I see more of His worthiness my pain becomes less. As I remember all that He is my purpose become clear. 

No matter what position we are in, whether single or married, we are to honor God in the middle of it. In all that we do, if we aren't trusting God wholly and learning to love our neighbors (even through Facebook) we are failing. If He isn't coming through in every Facebook post, every conversation, every word, then we are not living according to the riches of His goodness. 

So how do we do this? 

To my married/dating friends - let me tell you from the bottom of my heart that I am happy for you. I know that your special someone is the fruit of years of prayer and hard relationship work. I hope that I can be one of the ones that celebrates with you and enjoys seeing what God does in your life. 

When you want to encourage your single friends, the best thing that you can encourage us with is the gospel. Encourage us to look to Christ. Encourage us to live the life that God has called us to live.

To my single friends - I know that it's hard to be single sometimes and there's a lot of things we have to deal with. But what if we started rejoicing with people instead of envying them? What if we started encouraging our married or dating friends? What if we starting living life as if  Christ is enough? What if we proclaimed His goodness in our lives? What if we became the best servers, lovers, and friends that we can?

No matter where you are, start declaring His faithfulness to those around you. Let us see what God does when we start loving each other! 

Thank You

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This week marks one year since my engagement was broken off.

While this is sad for me in a way, I also am extremely grateful. 

As I looked back on last year I remembered how much grace I was shown and how many people surrounded me with love. I thought of the loving God who sheilded me and cared for my broken heart day after day. I thought of the family that loved me and stood with me through the worst. I thought of the friends who supported me and loved on me. I thought of the counselor who turned my eyes back to God. I thought of the friend who reminded me who I am in Christ when I needed to hear it the most. There are too many to count. 

In short God has surrounded me by so much love and grace. I know I don't deserve it. Left to myself I botch things up every time. Controlled by God, I can show His love and grace to those who desperately need it. In Him, there is nothing that I can't do. 

As I look back I see so many people who cared for and supported me. That warms my heart. That makes me so grateful. 

If you have taken the time to encourage me in this year, thank you. Your encouragement has meant more than you know. 

Keep shining!

In The Middle

"Just keep remembering that you are in the middle of the story."
I've been thinking about my mom's gentle reminder to me from a few weeks ago.
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I do the same things day in and day out not getting any closer (or so it seems) to where I want to be. I see other happy girls posting smiling engagement pictures or beautiful ladies setting up their homes and there's a part of me that really wants to be there. Sometimes I feel like they are getting their dreams and I'm not going much of anywhere. I'm still doing much of the same things I've been doing for months. I'm fighting the same battles within myself. 
There are days I move slower. Days when I feel like the middle of my story is going to damper my spirit. Days when I wonder if I missed the boat or didn't do something right. Days that feel so mundane.
Yet even on the mundane days, God is still calling me. He's still at work even in the middle of the story. He is still here.
So what do you do? On days when you feel like you are in the middle of the story not getting anywhere.
I've been thinking about this the last few days and I've come up with a list.
1. Preach the gospel to yourself. We never graduate from the gospel. Keep remembering the surpassing worth of Christ. Remember His cross. Remember His resurrection.
2. Don't give up on the dreams God gave you. On days when your dreams seem to be buried under a pile of work and  circumstances you can't control, keep believing that God is going to have those dreams come true at the perfect time.
3. Remember that God sees the bigger picture. To Him this isn't wasted time. This is His time. He knows what He is doing in the story and will work it all into the best story ever. Trust Him.
4. Keep moving in the right direction. Even if it seems mundane, keep moving. He's given you a task for today. Do it with all your might giving Him the praise.
5. Take time to do something you haven't done in a while. Do devotions outside. Buy a friend coffee. Go shopping at a new store. Surprise a friend with lunch. Sometimes it helps to break out of your normal routine.
So if you will excuse me I've got some work to do, but I'm happy about it.