My Story

Photo Credit: Joanna 

It began before the foundations of the world were laid. God in eternity past chose to create me. He chose this time and place for me to be born. He wrote my story. He is working to see it all come to completion.

I've shared my testimony hundreds of times. Each time I do I'm amazed at all that God and I have walked through together. 

I can't remember the exact day I was saved, but I know that God has welcomed me into His kingdom. He has ransomed and redeemed me. He is making me more like Him. He is at work in me. 

As I look back on all that God has done and the amazing adventures we have been on, I'm so thankful for how He has walked with me every step of the way. Through all the ups and downs, mountains and valleys, excitement and boredom, adventures and daily life, He has been my Constant and Faithful God. He keeps pursuing and and loving me through all of life. I've never walked alone. 

What's your story? What roads have you and God walked together? Where have you seen Him at work? I'd love to hear about it. Feel free to write out your story in the Comments. 

A Faith That Remains

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I came to Christ at 12. The devil said, "Ha, we will plant the seeds of legalism and focus on what she isn't doing. It will destroy her faith." Even though I walked through a tough season, Christ stepped in. He brought the truth of His amazing love into my heart and set me free.

I went through a season of growth and walking with God. The devil said, "We need to discourage her with the friends that are leaving her and the people who don't believe in her." But God kept giving me connections with true believers and encouragement to continue on.

I was being used by God to serve others. "Plant enough bad thoughts to render her ineffective." I kept singing. I kept serving. I did for a while anyway.

Then I began to believe I was entitled to marriage and bitter that God wasn't giving it to me. Then a guy came into my life who was all wrong for me. I left the straight and narrow and followed the infatuation of my own heart. "Finally!" the devil said. "Now we can destroy her faith as she pursues her idol."

But God stepped in. He demolished my idol and broke me free from its hold. The breaking of Rose was hard, but it became the means by which God remade me, "This time we can destroy her with bitterness, hate, guilt, and shame. She will be so beat down she will never rise." But the Lord worked in my heart. Day by day, I started to look a little more like Christ. Day by day, Christ replaced the hate and guilt with grace and love. He has given me beauty for ashes. I am redeemed. He healed me.

Throughout my life Satan has sought to destroy my faith. He has used the hard things in my life to whisper lies and try to make me give up. But God has never stopped pursuing me. He keeps redeeming my story and working in my heart. I've never been in this battle alone. He has always won in my life. 

This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior all the day long. May I continue for His honor and glory always.

The Night Before

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There's something that seems so cold and sad about a grave. I've stood beside the graves of several people that I loved and cried. They have gone into another world free from pain and heartache. Where they once held a place in my heart, there's a void. It hurts.
From the vantage point of over 2000 years its easy to read about the death and burial of Jesus and not feel the weight of Saturday and feel the darkness of the night. Back then they didn't have the end of the story, they were living it. They were experiencing it in real time.
Stop for a moment and think about this: you have just seen a close friend die a bloody merciless death on a cross. His presence is gone. No more laughter or asking questions. No more meals together or enjoyable talks on dusty roads. Nothing. Just a void. You grieve at how you weren't there for Him when He needed you most and wonder if things would have been different. The finality of death fills you with pain. Tears of shame and loss come easy. You wonder if the sun will ever shine again.
What part of your story feels like its been dead and in the grave? What place in your life feels like a void where there was once life and happiness? I have them and you do too.
Can I tell you something? It's not over yet. As black as the night was for Jesus, death wasn't the end of His story. Whatever area in your life feels dead, it's not over yet. It's only the night before the best part of your story takes place.
Is it hard to believe that when all you can see is cold blackness? Yes, but God is not through with your story. He still has more to write. Believe in His power. Wait on the Lord. Wait for the best part of the story. It's coming.

Let God Redeem Your Story

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I was going through some notes and found one that simply said you can't redeem your story. Only God can do that. It was dated the fall of 2017. I was dealing with the fallout from the  breakup. I was struggling with so many emotions and mind games. One of the battles I had fought was trying to fix my story. Sitting in the wreckage the temptation was to try and get out of the pain on my own. Fix the problem. Find my own salve for the pain. Write a better ending.

The thing is, only God can write a redemption story. I can't bring about my own healing or restoration. I can't heal myself. But God through the blood of the Son I can be cleansed the sins of my past. The resurrection insures that there is new life. There is healing and redemption, no matter how dark the night. 

I can try to (in my limited understanding and weak capacity) fix my story, but it would never work right. It is only when I hand the pin over that my story can start to be redeemed. For me it didn't happen overnight, but God did it. He has redeemed my story for His glory. My life tells a story of His love, grace, and healing. He has done so much. He has been good to me. He redeemed the story. 

Whatever the wreckage in your life, surrender the pin into the hands of the Master. Let Him redeem your story. He will redeem your story. The joy will be greater than your pain. The redemption will be greater than the wreckage. This is the God we serve. He is able to do far more than we can ask or imagine. So let Him work. Surrender the pin, step back, and see the wonders He unfolds. 

In The Middle

"Just keep remembering that you are in the middle of the story."
I've been thinking about my mom's gentle reminder to me from a few weeks ago.
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in the middle. I do the same things day in and day out not getting any closer (or so it seems) to where I want to be. I see other happy girls posting smiling engagement pictures or beautiful ladies setting up their homes and there's a part of me that really wants to be there. Sometimes I feel like they are getting their dreams and I'm not going much of anywhere. I'm still doing much of the same things I've been doing for months. I'm fighting the same battles within myself. 
There are days I move slower. Days when I feel like the middle of my story is going to damper my spirit. Days when I wonder if I missed the boat or didn't do something right. Days that feel so mundane.
Yet even on the mundane days, God is still calling me. He's still at work even in the middle of the story. He is still here.
So what do you do? On days when you feel like you are in the middle of the story not getting anywhere.
I've been thinking about this the last few days and I've come up with a list.
1. Preach the gospel to yourself. We never graduate from the gospel. Keep remembering the surpassing worth of Christ. Remember His cross. Remember His resurrection.
2. Don't give up on the dreams God gave you. On days when your dreams seem to be buried under a pile of work and  circumstances you can't control, keep believing that God is going to have those dreams come true at the perfect time.
3. Remember that God sees the bigger picture. To Him this isn't wasted time. This is His time. He knows what He is doing in the story and will work it all into the best story ever. Trust Him.
4. Keep moving in the right direction. Even if it seems mundane, keep moving. He's given you a task for today. Do it with all your might giving Him the praise.
5. Take time to do something you haven't done in a while. Do devotions outside. Buy a friend coffee. Go shopping at a new store. Surprise a friend with lunch. Sometimes it helps to break out of your normal routine.
So if you will excuse me I've got some work to do, but I'm happy about it.