A Hope Surrendered

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I have held onto a hope for a long time. 

A hope of marriage.

A hope that one day a guy would look lovingly into my eyes and cherish me forever.

A hope of a happy home with children.

For years this hope has been deferred. 

For years my heart has been sick.

Recently I listened to what Darlene Diebler Rose did with a hope deferred.

She had a dream of living life with her husband after the war. 

She prayed and asked God for it to happen. 

Instead she received news that her beloved husband had died. 

She cried. 

She prayed. 

And then she surrendered her deferred hope to God. 

It's easy in many ways to surrender to God a fulfilled hope.

When all is smiles and joy, it is easy to gladly give Him the hope we treasure. 

But what do we do with deferred hope?

Hope that seems impossible.

Hope that is making your heart sick.

Hope that leaves a hole in your soul. 

I bring it to God.

I offer it up to Him.

I withhold nothing from the Savior who withholds no good thing from me.

I entrust this hope into His hands.

And in that moment He comes and fills my heart.

He comes and comforts me. 

He heals what has been sick. 

He fills the void. 

Christ is worthy of hopes fulfilled and those that are deferred. 

He is worthy of all.

Let me always surrender all into His hands.

Truth and Lies

Recently I've been reading a book on womanhood and femininity. While the book has been good in some areas, personally I felt like it missed the mark.
Honestly I don't remember ever struggling with Biblical womanhood. I grew up in a home that valued being a woman and serving God. I realize now how rare this is and am so thankful for the home I have. I have been totally on board with God's veiw of femininity.
Women are called to be keepers at home. Amen!
Women should be good helpers to their husband's. Absolutely!
Women should be submissive. Yes!
Women should be busy, diligent, and hard working for the glory of God and the good of others. Totally.
What I realized is that while I knew all of these truths I got on the wrong track to fulfilling them. I thought my single years were a holding tank where I was waiting for marriage. All of my life was to become focused on preparing for marriage and keeping a home. Every day I was holding my breath waiting for the guy to come along. My life was focused on my marriage dream not on God.
Slowly this messed up perspective ate away my trust in God and joy. I became bitter and self-centered. Marriage became my idol.
Praise God He chooses to work in our lives even when we believe lies. Especially in the last two years He has been remaking my heart to be more like His. He has remained me of the truth. Here's some of what I have learned.
1. I am here to bring Him glory. Everything I do or say is (or should be) to bring Him glory. My life is not my own, it is His.
2. I have a mission. God gave me a mission to love and encourage the Church. That started a long time ago. It doesn't start the moment I get married, it has already begun.
3. I am not in control. My future and anything it might hold has been given into God's hands. Although there are times when I struggle greatly with this reality, it is true. The best thing I can do is pry my hands off my illusion of control and give it to God. I can trust the God of all time with my future.
4. I have been given so much right now. As I look around I see how much God has given me. There is so much to be grateful for.
5. I am right where I am supposed to be. There is a great temptation for me to think that I missed the boat. Maybe if I had tried a little harder or done something different I would have been married by now. But God keeps reminding me that He sees me. He didn't make a mistake. I am right where I should be. I am doing what God has called me to.
Remembering these truths has transformed the way I view life and my future. It makes all the difference.
Today I am so thankful that God and His truths never change. Even when I am being fickle, emotional, or crazy He never changes. He is and always will be God. He is always good and He has been good to me.
Today I can celebrate these truths. I can live them out with joy because of the Ultimate Truth Giver.