She Dances Free

She who once was enslaved to sin is now free in God. 

She who once followed her own passions now submits to God's leading. 

She who once brought shame now is a carrier of grace. 

She who was once proud and rebellious now follows God. 

She who was once beat down by sin and the devil is standing strong in the Lord. 

She who was once chained now dances free.

How is the possible? By the blood of the Lamb. It overcomes the greatest sins. It cleanses her filth. It removes her shame. 

Praise be to Lamb. Because of Him, she dances free. 

For Those Who Have Wondered

For all of those who have wondered, 

Did I make too many mistakes for God to forgive?

I should have known better yet I walked down the foolish path. 

Did I wander too far for God's grace to find me? 

Will the night never end? 

Will the tears of shame and regret always flow? 

Did I disqualify myself from finding love again? 

Are there to be no more dreams for me? 

Am I doomed to disappointment for past sins? 

Is it always going to be this way? 

Will I always carry this ache?

Yes I've asked these questions. I've fought and wrestled with them a lot in the last three years. If you have too, then these answers are for you. 

Dear friend, you are loved. 

God knows you. 

He loves you. 

He still has amazing plans for you. 

His blood is greater than your past. 

His love is greater than your shame. 

His life is all-encompassing.

Choose to believe this. 

Choose to repent. 

Choose to let this truth seep in. 

Choose to be changed by Him. 

Choose to trust His hand. 

Choose to let Him guide you. 

Choose to enjoy where He has you. 

Choose to accept the forgiveness and love He offers you. 

You haven't been disqualified. 

You haven't been cast out. 

You are being refined. 

You are being tested. 

You are being made new. 

Press on. 

Press ahead. 

Don't give up. 

I Thought I Was Over It

Source

I thought I would be over it by now. I can't tell you how many times this thought has crossed my mind in some form or fashion over the last two and a half years. I'm melting down after a memory got triggered. I thought I would be over the tears after a few months. I see a post on Facebook of a beautiful ring and a smiling couple and I fight Jealousy, depressing thoughts, and envy. I thought I would be over this by now. Someone asks me if I'm married and my heart aches. I thought I would be over this by now. Tears come over the past that I can't change. I thought I would be over this by now. I'm at a wedding and a million thoughts and emotions are coursing through me. I thought I would be doing better than this by now. 

I don't know where I got this picture in my head (maybe too many fun, but misguided movies) but I thought after my breakup that I would recover faster. I thought I would struggle for a few months and then be fine. I would be back to normal. It didn't happen that way. Months afterward I'm crying at anything and everything that brought back memories. After a year I had made huge progress, but I was still struggling with memories and guilt. Two years I had made great progress, but still felt like I had hang ups. Now almost three years later I was in church today fighting a mind battle over things that happened in 2017. And yes I wonder, will I ever get over it? 

I think whether or not we want to admit it healing takes a lot longer then we want it to. Truly resting in Christ's grace and remembering that we are forgiven for EVERYTHING we have ever done takes times. It takes practice to repel the enemies attacks on our soul. It takes practice to bring our tears to God. It takes time and grace to fight the battles of bitterness and unforgiveness. But this I do know from the last two and a half years: God is faithful. His grace is ENOUGH. He is greater than the struggle and the pain. He is with us through every step.

It's easy to think, I'm never going to get better. I'm always going to be this way. This is proof that God isn't who He said He is. It's a lie. God isn't finished. He is working and will work in your life. Just because we don't recover at the same rate they do on Hallmark doesn't mean that God isn't working healing. 

As I look back now I can see God's amazing work in the last few years. He has done so much healing and brought to life more hope than I ever thought possible. Are there days when I still struggle? Yes, but I'm not in the place I was three years ago. For that I am incredibly grateful. 

Reality is that we live in a fallen world. Things take longer than we want. Problems don't go away as fast as we want. Pain hangs on longer than we want. Situations don't change like we want. But there is also grace beyond what we can imagine. There is hope beyond our dreams. There is healing to be found in our Great God. Reach for Him. He will be found. 

For every time that you think to yourself, I thought I would be over this. Remember this, God is more amazing than I can ever imagine. 

Scars And Tattoos

Source

I have scars.
Scars on my heart from the past.
Scars from sins.
Scars from memories.
Scars that remind me of things I can't undo.
I wish scars were as cool as tattoos.
If you have a tattoo, many see you as cool.
Many think you are brave.
Tattoos set you apart.
They tell a story.
They share a message.
They mark their owner.
But scars are different from tattoos. Sometimes I have showed others my scars.
Some wince.
Some run.
Some ask questions.
Some want to know what happened.
Some want to know the story.
Because where there is a scar there was once a wound.
There was once pain.
There was once blood.
There was once choas.
But it didn't stay that way.
By God's grace and tender care a change took place.
With time the wound became a scar.
With love the wound lost its sting.
So when I show my scars I can tell a story.
A story of love.
A story of healing.
A story of pain turned to joy.
A story of God.
My scars may never be cool.
But they will be a testemant to God's grace.
So I will continue to show my scars.
Not because they are cool, but because they tell a story of grace.