I had a conversation recently that I've had a lot over the past few years. People hear that I'm still single and they tell me some version of this, "You know Rose, just when you think you are never going to get a guy, one appears. I mean I have a friend that she stopped wanting to be married and that's when God brought a dream boat of a guy into her life." I listen. I know they want encourage me. They hope is that this desire would be satisfied soon. For that my heart warms. It's actually kinda sweet how many people out there want me to be in a relationship.
But honestly there are a few things that I want even more than being in a relationship. I want to know that single or married, God will satisfy my soul. I want to know that God will be around every corner not just another prospect. I want to know that God will fill me on every lonely night if I come to Him. I want to know that through God's power I can reach out in love and kindness to those around me whether I'm backed by a guy or not. I want to know that I can live fully alive and happy now.
Even more than wanting a guy, I want to Christ. I want to be immersed in Him. I want His Spirit to fill me. I want to be sold out to Him. I want to love Him even more.
In the past I put my hope in a guy. But that hope was sadly misplaced. It led to nowhere good. Now as I look towards the future, I want my hope to be placed solely in Christ. I want to follow and trust Him no matter what.
Does that mean that I don't talk to guys or that I don't notice cute ones? No, I am still human and I still have longings. But it means I want my focus to be on God. I want to be seeking His Kingdom and the righteousness that comes from Him. Whatever else He chooses to give me is His gift. He owes me nothing, yet chooses to give me much. I want to live in grateful service to Him anticipating Him to fill me. Will there be hang-ups and downs along the way? Yes. I'm still human and will need help. Yet God has never disappointed me. Hope in Him has never been in vain. Nothing that I have done in love comes back fruitless.
Personally I would rather be anticipating God than anything else.
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