Maybe it was that I was interested in what I thought I would be vs. What I actually became.
As I look back I think about me as an teenager. That girl had so many dreams of what life would be like. She could just picture how it would all happen. She would have some adventures and fun travels. Then she would meet the one and they would get married and start a family.
But it didn't happen that way. The identity that I wanted so badly to assume didn't come my way. I felt so lost and confused. I hadn't planned for anything else. All I wanted back in 2016 was to be a wife and mom.
Because it wasn't happening I became bitter and discontent. I was becoming increasingly upset because I thought God wasn't giving me the identity that I desperately wanted.
There were several times during this time there were so many times when He was encouraging me. So many times when He was holding out a better way. Reminding me that who I was in Him had not changed. That He had already given me a beautiful identity in Him. But I wasn't really listening.
Sometimes the only way that God can get ahold of you is to give you what you have been begging Him for. And that is what He did for me.
To be continued...
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