Tears That Heal

I cried again. For the umpteenth time I wondered when I was going to not cry over the pain of the past? When was I going to be healed? When would it be just a memory? When would it stop producing tears?

Honestly, I was getting mad at myself. I was ready to be done with the tears. I didn't want to be sucked into that pain anymore. 

The thing was, God showed me that those tears weren't pointless. When I cried I never cried alone. He was always there holding me. Those tears worked in me something I couldn't see until recently. They were setting me free. Free from having to live in the pain. They were helping me to let go.

Even though it's been a year there are still times when I cry over the memories and pain. But I don't cry as much and I don't get frustrated with the tears. I see now (sometimes through tear-filled eyes) that the tears accomplish much.

The more amazing thing is that God never gets frustrated with my tears. So many times when I'm crying in His arms, I hear His tender voice. "You are loved. I'm here. I will never leave you. You are my beloved. I've cried tears over loss and pain too. I'm here for you." 

This is the soothing balm to my soul. It heals me. Almost like my tears clean the dirt out of the wound and His love covers it. He is so good and gracious. Even when I cry.