For Those Who Have Wondered

For all of those who have wondered, 

Did I make too many mistakes for God to forgive?

I should have known better yet I walked down the foolish path. 

Did I wander too far for God's grace to find me? 

Will the night never end? 

Will the tears of shame and regret always flow? 

Did I disqualify myself from finding love again? 

Are there to be no more dreams for me? 

Am I doomed to disappointment for past sins? 

Is it always going to be this way? 

Will I always carry this ache?

Yes I've asked these questions. I've fought and wrestled with them a lot in the last three years. If you have too, then these answers are for you. 

Dear friend, you are loved. 

God knows you. 

He loves you. 

He still has amazing plans for you. 

His blood is greater than your past. 

His love is greater than your shame. 

His life is all-encompassing.

Choose to believe this. 

Choose to repent. 

Choose to let this truth seep in. 

Choose to be changed by Him. 

Choose to trust His hand. 

Choose to let Him guide you. 

Choose to enjoy where He has you. 

Choose to accept the forgiveness and love He offers you. 

You haven't been disqualified. 

You haven't been cast out. 

You are being refined. 

You are being tested. 

You are being made new. 

Press on. 

Press ahead. 

Don't give up. 

Ambiguity

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One of the things that this pandemic has brought to the light was how much I don't like ambiguity.  I like knowing how long a movie is and how long I have until the end. How am I supposed to plan a budget? I want to know when I can go back to work. I want to know when things will happen. I want to know when waiting periods will come to an end. I want to know when I can hug my friends again. It's not that I can't go with the flow or be spontaneous, I just prefer to know when things will happen. 

God has been graciously and lovingly bringing this to light in me. He wants me to remember that there will always be things in my life that will be ambiguous. There will be some questions that won't get answers for a while. It's what I do with these areas that matters. I could choose to become angry at God for not giving me more clarity or for withholding an answer. Or I can choose to surrender these areas into His hands. I can bring all my questions to Him and place them in His hands. 

When I surrender to Him, I can rest that He knows the greater plan. I can stand in this middle ground between the past and what I don't know and trust Him to lead me forward. It's then that I see the next step. Not all of them, but the one that I need to take. It's as I take that next step that the next becomes clear.

It's in these times that I realize more than before it's not about my questions being answered, its about me taking the next step. It's about God getting the glory even if I can't see the whole picture. Its about continuing to obey when I can't see how it it will end. 

No I still don't like ambiguity, but in the middle of it I can trust God. I look for the light and take the step, knowing that He has the plan and will care for all the details. Even the ones that are ambitious to me. 

  

Joy

We started our Church's livestream and I felt an ache. Why? I wanted to be in Church with people. I ache for the time when I can hug people in person.

I was in the middle of working my way up to a great pity party when a verse broke in. Count it all joy my brothers when you encounter trials of various kinds. 

Is this prolonged season of distance fun? No. But can I count it joy? Yes. I can choose as I feel that ache to look to God and know that in the middle of this time He is working this for His glory and my best. When the longing for more connections comes in I can lift that up to Christ and rejoice that He is at work in my life. 

Lord, let me count it all joy when the ache to see people in person comes in. Let me count in all joy when I'm facing uncertainty about job and paychecks. Let me count it all joy when I'm tried of fighting the battle of discouragement and self focus. Let me bring honor to you out of this time. 

Don't Give Up During Quarantine

It's easy right now to think that we are stuck and can't do anything worthwhile. I mean we have to stay 6 feet away from total strangers. How could we possibly do anything encouraging?

I know I've thought these thoughts. It's easy to want to give up. It's easy to want to think we can't do anything with our faith when we can't reach out and touch someone. Might as well just go watch a ton of movies or check out from life. Might as well just try to forget about it and wait for it all to blow over. 

Friend, this is where Satan wants us. He wants us to give up. To numb the pain. To become ineffective for the Kingdom right now. 

I know that this week I have grown tired of the battle and tired of the distance. When I let my eyes wander, Satan had a foot hold. I wanted to be done with this time instead of embracing it. Thankfully there is repentance and grace.

God hasn't called us to give up in this time. We are called to rise up and reach out to the hurting. We are called to shine Christ's light in the middle of the darkness of fear. We are called to press on. Christ is the Author and Perfector of our faith. Let us fix our eyes on Him and keep running the race. 

I don't know what that will look like for you, but I can offer a few suggestions from how I feel that God is calling me in this time to keep running. 

Reach out to the unbelievers you know and see how they are doing. 

Take groceries to an elderly neighbor. 

Engage with your family. Take time to be with them and do things for them. 

Send letters of encouragement to friends. 

Be kind and gracious to all retail workers. 

Stay connected with friends and pray for them. 

Dig deep into the Bible and study the matchless God we serve. 

What's on your list? What has God given you to do? How has He called you to keep running? 

Do it my friend! Don't let discouragement drag you down. If you've stopped running, pray, repent, and then start again. Turn off the distractions and run toward our Glorious King. He is worthy of a well run race. 

To What Do You Run?

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We are all running toward something. 

We are all pressing ahead towards our dreams. 

When we are feeling down we run to what we think will make us happy.

When life doesn't go our way we want something to cheer us up. 

We want something to help with the pain. 

Whether it be a fantasy, a shopping spree, a food bindge, we want something to numb the hurt that threatens to overwhelm. 

Whatever you run to will control you. 

So run towards God. 

Run towards the only One that can satisfy.

Run towards our true Comfort.

Run to the God who saves. 

Run to Him. 

Let Him be all that you need. 

2 Years Of Loved Before Time

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Two years ago I had an idea. I wanted to share what God had been teaching me with a wider audience than just Facebook. I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to be more of the encourager that He called me to be. 

I went back and read the first blog post that I posted here. It was simple, yet it captures so much of my heart. 

Back then I was still reeling after a hard breakup the summer before. It had been a tough year. However looking back it was also the time that God was rebuilding me. My life had been shattered. What God has done since has been healing beyond what I could have imagined, grace like I have never known, hope anchored in His love, and the growth of my relationship with Jesus. 

All of this is hard to put into words. I've used so many on this blog to try and explain it. But sometimes I go to write a post about what He I doing and words fail me. I can't seem to find a way to tell you what is in my heart. It's too messy. Too muddled. Too raw. So I leave it in the draft stage until words come. Sometimes it takes weeks, but when they do come it's so great to write and release them into the blog world. Another assignment down. There's always another one to go. But that is part of the adventure of life with Jesus.

I've prayed about a lot of these posts. I want to type encouraging words, not just words. My prayer is that you would be encouraged and challenged to live life for the One who loved you before time began. Words are easy, living is another challenge all together. 

So today I want to go out and live what I write. I want to live fully alive and fully in love with my Savior. I want to enjoy Him and rest in Him. I want all of my life to be centered on the One who made me and loved me before time began. Let's get out and do it! Let's live loved! It's the best place to be.

He Is Risen!

He Is Risen!
I never get tired of saying this. Jesus is Alive! Death, the devil, and all of hell couldn't hold Him. Jesus conquered the grave and rose again victorious. He is Lord over all creation. He reigns over death and life. He is Ruler over all.
This is our King. This is our God. This is Christ the Risen Lord.
Let us celebrate that Jesus rose from the dead. Tell this amazing news wherever you go. Nothing in the world or hell could hold Him captive. He is triumphant over death and sin. He is alive! Amen!

Painting by Ron Dicianni