The Wedding

Morgan Sessions Photography 

Last month I went to a wedding of a friend. Confession time: I normally don't wear make up to these events but that day I did. Why? There were going to be a lot of people there that I hadn't seen in 5 years and I wanted to look good. And I was feeling insecure. 

Honestly weddings are still a little tough. I enjoyed the ceremony and was excited for the couple. The reception was tough. Talking with ladies younger than me that were married and answering questions about my own life. It was tough. Answering the do you have a boyfriend question is rough for me. It brought up the pain of longing and reminded me of the place I want filled. I was starting to fill very sorry for myself. 

But God didn't let me turn the reception into a pity party. He sent me a lady with the words I needed to hear. She asked me what I had done in the last five years, if I had a boyfriend, and how life was going for me. I told her that God had been very good to me. I was working the same job. No boyfriend on the horizon. Still loving my family and friends. 

She looked at me and said, "that is so great Rose. You haven't changed a bit. You are still loving God and living out your faith." She kept talking, but my eyes welled up with tears. Here I was looking at myself through a lense of my singleness and hurt. Here she was looking at me through the lense of what God was still doing in me. 

It changed my whole perspective on the evening. Maybe I hadn't found a boyfriend, maybe I hadn't built up an amazing career, maybe I still had a lot of unfulfilled dreams, but that doesn't change the fact that God has never left me. He is still here. He is working. He is still loving me. 

In the end that's all that really matters. He is the center of our story. He is the light of the world. He is all that we need. He is the Redeemer of the story. 

Is it hard to believe that when I look around and it feels like everyone else is getting married? Yes. Is it hard to remember that He is all I need when I feel that longing for a relationship? Yes. Do any of my feelings change who He is? No! 

Ultimately He never changes. He will be my constant One. The Lover of my soul. My Rock and Redeemer. He is all Sufficient. He is all that is good. 

Now when I think back to that evening, I thank God. I am so thankful that God never left me to myself, but let me be a testimony to His grace. He crashed my pity party with perspective. For that I am grateful. 

Have you ever had God crash a pity party with perspective? I'd like to hear about it. Drop me a comment below. 

For My Single And Married Friends

Photo credit: Mikayla Holman

One of the things I have noticed on Facebook is a lot of posts aimed at singles that go something like this, (picture of me and my guy) single women wait for a love like this. 

Through the years I have read a lot of these posts and come away feeling more discouraged. I know the people who posted this meant well, but when I read this post I feel like it spotlights my singleness. Their fullness spotlights my emptiness. Their relationship status highlights mine. Their wait being over spotlights my (sometimes hard) wait.

When you write a post or are having a conversation, where does the spotlight fall? Sadly I feel like all too often I read these posts and turn the spotlight toward me and what I wish I had. I choose to look at the waiting and the downsides to singleness. 

But where should I be focusing? Toward myself or toward the all sufficient Christ? When I choose to point the spotlight toward Christ and the gospel a change takes place. As I see more of His worthiness my pain becomes less. As I remember all that He is my purpose become clear. 

No matter what position we are in, whether single or married, we are to honor God in the middle of it. In all that we do, if we aren't trusting God wholly and learning to love our neighbors (even through Facebook) we are failing. If He isn't coming through in every Facebook post, every conversation, every word, then we are not living according to the riches of His goodness. 

So how do we do this? 

To my married/dating friends - let me tell you from the bottom of my heart that I am happy for you. I know that your special someone is the fruit of years of prayer and hard relationship work. I hope that I can be one of the ones that celebrates with you and enjoys seeing what God does in your life. 

When you want to encourage your single friends, the best thing that you can encourage us with is the gospel. Encourage us to look to Christ. Encourage us to live the life that God has called us to live.

To my single friends - I know that it's hard to be single sometimes and there's a lot of things we have to deal with. But what if we started rejoicing with people instead of envying them? What if we started encouraging our married or dating friends? What if we starting living life as if  Christ is enough? What if we proclaimed His goodness in our lives? What if we became the best servers, lovers, and friends that we can?

No matter where you are, start declaring His faithfulness to those around you. Let us see what God does when we start loving each other! 

The Struggle Is Real

The struggle is real, but so is God.

The ache that you feel is real, but so is Gods love. 

The emotions you feel are real, but so is Gods never-changing character. 

The hard days may seem to last forever, but Gods mercy never ends.

The pain you're going through is real, but so is Gods healing power.

The frustrations you face are real, but so is Gods peace.

The setbacks you encounter are real, but so is Gods help. 

The daily grind monotony is real, but so is the purpose that God gives us. 

The discouragement that you face is real, but so is the God of all hope. 

Whatever you are facing right now, know that God is real. He is loving and powerful. 

What if today we started to really believe that He is as powerful as our situation? What if we believed that He can do what He has promised us? What would change? 

What Is Surrender?

For years I thought I hadn't done it right.

It seemed like almost every woman I knew had a story that went something like this. "I kept chasing and wanting guys. All I wanted was to be married. Then one day I gave up. I surrendered my dreams to God. And then the next week THE GUY came into my life." 

The story varied some, but the key theme was the same. The day after surrender happened, the right guy appeared. I would hear stories and think, I must not have really surrendered that desire because I haven't found the right guy.

There were so many times when I "surrendered" that desire. So many times of thinking that this time I'd really done it. Still no guy appeared.

This led to me thinking that if I wanted it, God wouldn't give that to me. So I would try to figure out how to stop desiring it. Start desiring the right things. My reasoning was is that if God saw that I wanted Him first, that He would give me a guy. 

The problem was I just wanted a guy. It became my obsession. It became my idol. Oh, I would tell you that God was my first desire, but deep down my greatest desire was to have a guy. My actions and life bore witness to that fact. My fists were clinched. My desire firmly in my grasp. 

Then came the night that my parents lovingly confronted me about where my focus was. They pointed out that it wasn't on God, but on my idol of marriage. I was hurt. That night I stayed up late and talked to God. That night I finally surrendered my dream to Him. That night I started to dream of a future where He was the main focus. My hands opened to Him.

Literally 5 days later I was asked out on a date. I was so happy. Oh, how quickly we forget our promises when we think we can meet our desire. I reverted back to my old idol. I grabbed my desire for marriage and held it with a vice grip. Instead of surrendering the relationship to God, I sought to gratify my desires. 

It was at this moment that my All-Wise God did the most loving thing He could, but at the time it felt so hard. He broke my hands. He shattered my grip. In the process of breaking my life broke too. 

But God is so good. Day by day He put me back together. He healed my hands to praise Him. He remade the mangled mess. He breathed new life into me. 

In the process He taught me what surrender looks like. It's not a one time deal that you make with God. It's hands open and turned up toward Him. It's when you see desires, dreams, plans, everything as His not yours. 

Ouch! That's a hard one for me. Even now there are things that I have in my hands that I have to bring before Him. Things that I grab onto that I need to give back to Him. Sometimes it takes work to pry my fingers off. 

But with surrender there is great freedom. It takes the burden of control off of you and transfers it to the only One who can carry it. Now you are free to worship God and love those around you without needing to clinch them. You can dream and plan without fear because you know that He ultimately is in control. You can work diligently and serve faithfully because you know that this job is a gift from God. 

Today what do you have in your fist? Job? Money? Dream? Desire? A Person? 

What would you need to do to take one finger off? I challenge you to do it. Do one thing today that will pry a finger off of that thing. It may not be easy, but it will be a start.

But why should we? What makes it worth it? Being able to lift two free hands to our Beloved and say "All that I am is Yours. Not my will, but Yours be done." It is beautiful music to His ears. 

Stones Fall

There's great freedom in letting go     

There's strength in the middle of surrender

There's beauty in relinquishing rights

When we let go of our need to be right

When we let go of needing to balance the scales

When we let God be God

When we realize how much we have been forgiven

When we see how much grace has been shown to us

When we rest in Gods love

That is when harsh lips become silent

That is when grief turns to hope

That is when healing begins

That is when transformation happens

That is when stones fall from our hands

Take the time today to come before God and let stones fall. 

Lions

Source: upi.com

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you have a lion in your house. Yes, that's right. You have a ferocious beast in your house. 

If I'm totally honest, I have a lion in my house too. In fact, he is with me wherever I go. 

His name? Sin. This is the nasty destructive lion that follows us around wherever we go. 

But why? Why do we have this lion that follows us? Why don't we get rid of him? For some of us it started years ago. A cute little lion showed up at our doorstep wanting food. We could feed it or the Spirit. We could have the company of the lion or the Spirit, but not both. We chose to feed the lion. 

Over the years the lion has grown in size. Suddenly it's not as easy to feed the lion. It always wants more. He promises satisfaction, but it's fleeting at best. He is always wanting us to up the ante. The fleeting pleasure is sweet. The thought of more is tantalizing. 

So we feed him. We turn to him for pleasure instead of the Spirit. 

We've tried to hide him as best we could, but we are always worried that he is going to come out at the worst moment and expose us. We are always keeping one eye on the hiding place and praying that we can get through another day without the lion coming out.  

We've thought about becoming free from the lion. We daydream about a life where we don't have to fear the lion. a life where I can be free from the lions grasp. A life when I can let people get close. A life where we can live without fear that people will find out about the lion. Yet we don't throw it out. 

The problem is that the lion knows when you are tired and discouraged. It knows when to kill the prey. Slowly and painfully it will destroy you, your close friendships, your ministry, and your witness. It will claw and gnaw at your very life.  

Suddenly that cute little lion that we let in and fed all those years ago has become a monster that we can't control. Worse, it's eating away at everything and everyone we love. 

Such is sin. It is no laughing matter. What may have one appeared cute and harmless is now eating away at your very soul. 

If I ended it here, this would be a bleak picture indeed. But there is one who has killed the lion. There is one who never let in the lion. Not even a little cute lion. He lived among us, but He did not succumb to the sin that we fall prey to. 

On the cross He let all of our lions devour Him.  He stretched out His hands in surrender and let the lions devour Him. In that moment He lost that closeness of fellowship He had always shared with His Father. He felt the full weight of our sin. He died being devoured by the lies that naw at us every day. 

Praise God! This is not the end of the story! Christ conquered the lions. He let them destroy His life, but then He rose again! God brought about the victory over sin forever! 

This is the best news for us who live among the lions. We can conquer! Because He conquered, He invites us to share in His victory! We don't have to live in fear of the lion. We can conquer the lion. With God working in us and strengthening us, we can daily walk in the Spirit and not be the slave of the lion. 

We all have a lion that lives with us, but we can choose who we choose to feed. We can choose who we will walk with. We can choose who we serve. 

Praise God! He gives us freedom to be slaves to Christ!

Asking The Wrong Question

I have been asking the wrong question and I think the answer that I have been giving myself was as wrong as this question. 

The question was: What if I never get married? What then?

On the surface there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with this question. I was encouraged to consider this question a few years ago and have been mulling over it ever since. But I think it is a wrong question. Why?

Recently I was up late thinking. In my half awake state I felt like this question floated to the top of my mind. Then God's thoughts started invading. What if I have been asking the wrong question? What if instead of asking what if I never get married, I asked what if God chooses that for His glory and my best that I remain single?  

It may seem like I'm asking the same question, but I realized a big difference between the two. The difference was who the focus is on. If I am the focus of my story then I will end up sad and disillusioned. But if I chose to make God the center of the story I end up satisfied in Him. 

It's like I'm on a stage. I can choose to run onto center stage and demand that the spotlights focus on me. But promoting myself and my supposed worth leaves me empty and hopeless. What if instead I went out on that stage, but let the light illuminate the True Center of this story? When I highlight His goodness and love and let Him be the center, lives change for His glory. This gives me peace and hope. 

I'm not perfect at this yet. I'm still learning to ask better questions and let God be God in all of my life. He is so patient and loving. He cares for me and loves me more than I will ever know. Living a life that is completely His and that honors Him is what I strive for. Living a life that spotlights Him is a worthy goal. 

Ultimately you and I are not our own. You are not your own. You were bought with a price therefore glorify God with your body. 

Let us strive today offer all of our ourselves as a holy sacrifice to God. For His glory and our greatest good.