His Strength

I sat down on the floor of the darkened room. The children slept peacefully. I had reached on end. The conversation with God went something like this.

"God I can't do any more. I've poured out everything I have on these friends. I'm working and trying to be there for those that need me. I've been fighting in prayer, texting, calling, and pouring out. Now I have nothing left to give. I'm done."

"Daughter, don't give up. Keep loving."

"Lord, I can't. I told You. I have nothing left in my resources. I'm empty. I know that these friends need more from me. Yet I don't have it in me to give them."

"You can't do this in your own strength. Look to Me. I will provide all that you need." 

As I sat there I found He had filled the emptiness with His love and grace. I knew that I could love those that I had been given to love that day. It wasn't in my own strength and power. It was in His. He had filled me to continue doing what He had called me to do. He had given me the love that I needed to pour out onto others. 

It's just another tangible example to me that the power to live this life doesn't come from me. It comes from Him. He is the Source and Giver of all life. He is gracious and will give me all that I need.

Today if you are feeling stretched thin and like you can't go on, reach out for His limitless strength. He longs to be more than you could ever imagine. 

When My Plans Get Wreaked

I feel like the words in this picture describe most of what I've done throughout 2020. I had made plans. I had things wanted to do and set out on an adventure filled year. 

Then I had to cancel so many plans. All of us have. All of us had to deal with disappointments. All of us wish we could have stuck with the original plan.

But that's not what God had in mind. He had a better plan. He knew we needed this. He knew we needed to grow. He knew that for many of us it would be the wake up call we needed. He knew this would be a time to remember what's really important. He knew this was what we needed not what we wanted. 

Do I like having to cancel plans repeatedly? No. Do I like growth pains? No. Am I thankful that God works even in the middle of crazy times and disappointmented plans? You'd better believe it! I'm so thankful that God is sovereign and that He is at work no matter what the world is throwing at us. He is still good and He is actively working in our lives. As one of my favorite Bible teachers Whitney Capps says it like this, "Life is hard. Hard is good. God is best."

If we could only grasp this beautiful reality, what a difference it would make. We could embrace the challenges and canceled plans with joy because we know that God is working out the very best in us. He is overseeing the master plan. He is sovereign and good. 

I know for me it hasn't been easy to cancel so many plans, but the longer that the uncertainty drags on it makes me more and more grateful that God is working even this for the very best. It's hard. Hard is good. Why? Because in the hard we have the opportunity to reach out for the best. The best is God. The best will always be God. 

And that is why we can have joy. Let's embrace this reality a little more fully today shall we? 

My Running List

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I went to clean up the latest mess and try to contain my frustration. The day was not going well. I mentally added this latest problem to the growing list of things that were going wrong today. I was trying to my best and fight my blah mood, but I felt like nothing was getting me out of the blah. Nothing terrible had happened, just a lot of little things kept going wrong.

I took a deep breath. This was wrong. I was wrong. I shook myself and realized that I had been making the wrong list. 

I sat down. It was time to make another list. I started a list of all the things I was thankful for. A list of the things that are true about God no matter what kind of day I'm having.

By the time I was done my perspective had shifted. My day didn't drastically change. There were still some things that annoyed me, but my heart was better for having made a list of things that I'm grateful for.

No matter what your day throws at you, you have an amazing opportunity to be grateful for what God has given you instead of focusing on the bad. You have the chance to refocus on the good. Is it easy? Sometimes no, but it's always better. Let us always overflow with thankfulness for who He is and all that He has given us. Even on bad days there's so much to thank Him for.

So the next time you're having a rough day and are tempted to start making a list of all the things that are going wrong, stop a minute. Start making a list of all the good things in your life. Remember who God is and what He has rescued you from. Shift your eyes to Him. Your day may not change, but you will. 

29 Random Facts About Me

Its my birthday today. 29 years of God's love and goodness. 

Even though it hasn't been all flowers and rainbows, I'm so thankful for every year. Each year that God has given me has been a gift. Full of adventure, craziness, and life. Every time I look back I can see God's hand working and moving even in the thorny times (many times even more so).

Today is a day of celebration. Here goes 29 random things that you may or may not know about me. 

1. I don't remember the exact day that I was saved. I was so young and for some reason I can't recall the specific day. However I know that when I was very young God called me to be one of His children. He brought me into His kingdom and He keeps growing me and drawing me closer to Himself. 

2. I have a teddy bear collection. 

3. I've gone by many nicknames. Including but not limited to Smurf, Rabbit, elephant, RaRa, Sunshine, and Ruth. 

4. I enjoy bike rides and long walks. 

5. I like pretty much anything chocolate unless it also contains coconut or mint. 

6. My first job was cleaning house for a neighbor. 

7. I drank dog shampoo when I was 3 and lived to tell the tale thanks to my mom.

8. I like flowers. Roses are my favorite (shocker) 

9. I'm not very good at drawing or painting freehand, but if I have lines or a pattern I'm good (coloring pages are my friend). 

10. I've cross stitched my mom a Nativity every year for Christmas for the last 12 years.

11. I enjoy leaving a song every place I go. 

12. I enjoy travel and seeing new places.

13. I've seen the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.

14. I'm a 7th generation Texan. 

15. I've listened through my Bible so many times I've lost count.

16. I have seen the fingerprints of God on every part of my story. Even in the hard parts. Whether being excited over a new job, dealing with a loss of a relationship, walking in the sunshine with a good friend, crying over a friend walking away from me, playing in the snow, having a heart to heart talk with a mentor, you name it I can look back and see Him there.

17. I like to play board games. 

18. I'm not competitive. I prefer to work as a team. 

19. I have a bag and purse collection. You can never have too many in my opinion. 

20. I have worked on 4ish short films, and 2 feature films, and done promotion for 1 feature film. 

21. I have a large notebook that I use to dream about what I want to become, trips I want to take, or things that I want to accomplish. I call it my dream journal.

22. Never Give Up is one of my favorite sayings. It encourages me on days when I'm feeling down and want to give up on people or projects. 

23. I'm an avid Sight and Sound Theater fan. 

24. I've taken a spiritual retreat every year for the past 4 years. 

25. I have an ever changing favorite song. 

26. I enjoy sending cards and letters to friends. 

27. You can easily surprise me. I'm either gullible or unsuspecting or maybe a mixture of the two. 

28. I enjoy making people laugh. 

29. I'm 29 and so excited to see what God does with this year. Whatever happens I know it's going to be a wonderful crazy adventure. 

Rhythms, Routines, and Normal Life

Normal. Routine. Mundane. This week has been getting back into the swing of normal. After 3 weeks off of work, it was time to get back into the rhythm of set schedule and work. 

Part of me didn't want to go back to normal. I like vacation. I like being able to wake up whenever I want, do whatever, and enjoy a slower pace. 

Vacations are fun and they teach me so much, but I wasn't made to live there. I was made to live in normal life. In the everyday. In the common and mundane moments of life.

When I step back and look at the pieces that make up a normal day, none of them seem exciting at first glance. Yet I'm so thankful for all of the individual normal things that make up a part of my day. An alarm clock that works. Prayer time. Family. A morning commute. A job working with kids. Hugs and smiles. Lunch. An afternoon commute. Music. Texting friends. Bible study. Audiobooks. Eating. Getting ready for bed. Writing in my daily journal. It's all every normal things, but I am so grateful that God is in the middle of my normal life. I don't just get Him on vacation, I get Him in everyday life. I don't have to do something special, I get to have Christ as my constant companion throughout the day. 

He is the One who gives meaning to the mundane. Each day I can wake up with purpose and go about another normal day secure in the knowledge that God is weaving a beautiful tapestry out of the threads of normal. It may feel so small and normal, but placed in His hands it becomes a lovely masterpiece. 

Today I'm so thankful for the normal, mundane, and everyday things that God has giving me. For the opportunity to offer some more threads to the tapestry He is weaving. 

What are some of the normal things that you are thankful for? 

Keep Going

I know this season has lasted longer than any of us wanted. 

This season of shutdowns, unknowns, Coronavirus, fears, and deferred plans. 

In this season, God hasn't been still. We have seen Him working. He is actively pursuing us and drawing us closer to Himself. In the midst of all the chaos, He has been with us. He has been our strength and our refuge. 

This season has not been easy, but it has taught us much. And it's not over yet. It's easy right now to grow tired and quit. But you don't have to. 

Let us keep pressing ahead. Let us not grow weary. Let us keep running the race that God has laid out for us. Let us keep doing what we know is right. 

With Christ by our side empowering us every step of the way, we can do this. In Him and with Him.

Know that I pray that today you would be encouraged to run the race well and love those around you. 

I Was Afraid

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I stood at the window gripping the window frame. Trying to find something firm to hold on to. 

I was scared. I could feel God tugging at my heart. He was asking me to not hold back my love for a friend. He was asking me to trust.

"Lord, I can't. What if she rejects the part of my heart that I offer? What if I'm left with this huge hole in my heart and end up empty? What if..." I had loved before. I had held nothing back. I had given all. Then I had been hurt and rejected. I had been misunderstood and left feeling empty. I couldn't do that again. 

His loving voice broke into my fears. "Entrust yourself to Me first. Give me your heart. Then hold nothing back from your friend. She needs to know your heart." 

I gripped the window a little tighter and took in a deep breath. Slowly I let it out and released the control. I let down the wall that I had built out of fear. 

I began to share my heart with my friend. I released my heart to God first and then into her hands. 

What I found was love and acceptance. Instead of running away, she came closer. Instead of moving away, she moved in for a hug. Instead of being empty, I was made whole by heavenly hands reaching out through a friend. 

Fear will keep me away from others. Love will draw me to them to pour out the love that has been given to me. I can never pour out more than God has poured out on me. It's in entrusting myself to Him that I find freedom to love lavishly, fully, and graciously. Just like He does. Even if my love is rejected, I can trust that God will always be enough for the lack that people leave.

So today I want to love well holding nothing back. Because I am in Christs loving care, I am safe to love others. In Him I am loved, safe, and always wanted. Praise be to His Matchless Name.