I stood at the window gripping the window frame. Trying to find something firm to hold on to.
I was scared. I could feel God tugging at my heart. He was asking me to not hold back my love for a friend. He was asking me to trust.
"Lord, I can't. What if she rejects the part of my heart that I offer? What if I'm left with this huge hole in my heart and end up empty? What if..." I had loved before. I had held nothing back. I had given all. Then I had been hurt and rejected. I had been misunderstood and left feeling empty. I couldn't do that again.
His loving voice broke into my fears. "Entrust yourself to Me first. Give me your heart. Then hold nothing back from your friend. She needs to know your heart."
I gripped the window a little tighter and took in a deep breath. Slowly I let it out and released the control. I let down the wall that I had built out of fear.
I began to share my heart with my friend. I released my heart to God first and then into her hands.
What I found was love and acceptance. Instead of running away, she came closer. Instead of moving away, she moved in for a hug. Instead of being empty, I was made whole by heavenly hands reaching out through a friend.
Fear will keep me away from others. Love will draw me to them to pour out the love that has been given to me. I can never pour out more than God has poured out on me. It's in entrusting myself to Him that I find freedom to love lavishly, fully, and graciously. Just like He does. Even if my love is rejected, I can trust that God will always be enough for the lack that people leave.
So today I want to love well holding nothing back. Because I am in Christs loving care, I am safe to love others. In Him I am loved, safe, and always wanted. Praise be to His Matchless Name.
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