Bringing It To Him

Last fall I was very restless. I couldn't escape the feeling of wanting to do something different. I wanted to take on a new adventure. 

The thing was no matter how hard I tried, no new adventure came. No new doors opened. Monthes passed and still nothing. I was getting very frustrated. One day I went out walking and talking to God. I told Him I was frustrated with life. I told Him I had tried everything, but this restless feeling persisted. When I finished and started listening He spoke. He told me that I would rather take on a new adventure than stay and deal with pain of still being single. Ouch! That one hurt to hear. 

Honestly I didn't want to deal with the pain of being single. The pain of unfulfilled longing. Anytime it came to the surface, I had surpressed it. I thought it was wrong to want anything else besides God. So when the longing for marriage would come up, I would feel guilty because I wasn't desiring God. I would try to shove it down. The thing was I did (and still do) desire a Godly marriage. And trying to deal with the pain of disappointment and honest desire was scary. My approach of acting like it wasn't there wasn't working. 

So I went to a Godly woman in our church and asked for counsel. She didn't deny my desire or my pain. She encouraged me instead to take it to Christ. Instead of feeling guilty and running from Christ, to take my pain to Christ. 

This was a game changer for me. I started coming to Christ with my pain and disappointment. I started bringing Him my longing and desire. He is such a good God. When I come to Him with tears for what I long to have, He comforts me. He reminds me that I am not alone. He reminds me of who I am in Him. He reminds me that He too lived through singleness and longing to be united to His bride. He reminds me of His faithfulness. He reminds me of His love. He reminds me of the mission for here and now. 

I'm still in the learning process. I'm still learning to bring Him all the feelings of longing and disappiontment. I'm still learning to receive the comfort and peace He freely gives. But He is so tender and patient. He keeps loving me and working through all of it. 

Whatever you are going through, bring it to God. You may not know how to deal with it, but He does. He knows what you need. He will be the best comfort and encouragement you will ever know.