When You Feel Like You've Blown It

I was reading a book that was encouraging young women not to give their hearts away. Something I am whole heartedly in favor of. 
However for me, statements like this make me sad. I feel like I already gave my heart away to the wrong guy. When I had to take it back it was broken in a million pieces. I feel like I've blown it. I can't undo the past. I can't make my heart new again.  

But God is gracious. He knew that this would happen. He knew I would give my heart to someone who wouldn't keep it. He knew that I couldn't deal with the heartbreak alone. 
So when my heart was broken and I had royally messed up, He came to me. He loved on me. He stood with me every day, comforting me. He covered me with His blood. He forgave me. He picked up the jagged pieces of my heart and reshaped them. He worked healing. He restored my soul. 

Do I wish I could go back in time and take my heart back before it got broken? Oh yes. But praise be to God that He works in us no matter how badly we have blown it. He works healing and restoration in the most broken places of our hearts.

There are things that I will always struggle with and scars that will always be with me. There is damage that I've done that I can't undo. Sadly. But praise God I don't have to live in the guilt and pain. I can have forgiveness even for my worst failures. 

Do you feel like you've blown it? Do you feel like you gave your heart away to the wrong person? Don't give up. Seek God again. Bring Him that hurt and brokenness and let Him work in you wonders that can't be put into words. Let Him fill you again. Let His grace redeem your story. 

No matter where you are, always seek God. He is the will always redeem that which you entrust to Him. 

He Came

This year I've been coming back to a simple truth. God gave the gift of Himself in the form of a baby. 
The God of the universe came into the world He created. He came to save us. He came to redeem us. He came to love us. He died in our place and rose again. 
That is our God. He is beyond our understanding and yet He choose to reveal Himself to us. 
I praise His name. For His is good and His love endures forever. May all praise be to His name. 
As we have been loved, let us love.

The Wedding

Morgan Sessions Photography 

Last month I went to a wedding of a friend. Confession time: I normally don't wear make up to these events but that day I did. Why? There were going to be a lot of people there that I hadn't seen in 5 years and I wanted to look good. And I was feeling insecure. 

Honestly weddings are still a little tough. I enjoyed the ceremony and was excited for the couple. The reception was tough. Talking with ladies younger than me that were married and answering questions about my own life. It was tough. Answering the do you have a boyfriend question is rough for me. It brought up the pain of longing and reminded me of the place I want filled. I was starting to fill very sorry for myself. 

But God didn't let me turn the reception into a pity party. He sent me a lady with the words I needed to hear. She asked me what I had done in the last five years, if I had a boyfriend, and how life was going for me. I told her that God had been very good to me. I was working the same job. No boyfriend on the horizon. Still loving my family and friends. 

She looked at me and said, "that is so great Rose. You haven't changed a bit. You are still loving God and living out your faith." She kept talking, but my eyes welled up with tears. Here I was looking at myself through a lense of my singleness and hurt. Here she was looking at me through the lense of what God was still doing in me. 

It changed my whole perspective on the evening. Maybe I hadn't found a boyfriend, maybe I hadn't built up an amazing career, maybe I still had a lot of unfulfilled dreams, but that doesn't change the fact that God has never left me. He is still here. He is working. He is still loving me. 

In the end that's all that really matters. He is the center of our story. He is the light of the world. He is all that we need. He is the Redeemer of the story. 

Is it hard to believe that when I look around and it feels like everyone else is getting married? Yes. Is it hard to remember that He is all I need when I feel that longing for a relationship? Yes. Do any of my feelings change who He is? No! 

Ultimately He never changes. He will be my constant One. The Lover of my soul. My Rock and Redeemer. He is all Sufficient. He is all that is good. 

Now when I think back to that evening, I thank God. I am so thankful that God never left me to myself, but let me be a testimony to His grace. He crashed my pity party with perspective. For that I am grateful. 

Have you ever had God crash a pity party with perspective? I'd like to hear about it. Drop me a comment below.