Define Good

When is God good?

When is He good to me?

Is He only good when I get a guy?

Is He only good when life is going my way?

Is He only good when I get the raise?

Is He only good when traffic is easy?

Is He only good when my family and I are getting along?

Is He only good when I said the right thing in small group?

Is He only good when I get what I want?

What if we started defining good by God's terms instead of ours?

Isn't He still good when I'm sitting at yet another friends wedding?

Isn't He still good when I'm desiring something that I can't have right now?

Isn't He still good when I am scrolling through Facebook and a friend's newborn baby pictures?

Isn't He still good when I have tears streaming down my cheeks?

Isn't He still good on that hard commute?

Isn't He still good when I am feeling down?

Isn't He still good when I had a bad day at work?

What if I started in all these things I defined good by who God is, not by my circumstances or relationship status? Things change, but God never does. He is still all-powerful. He is still sovereign. He is still faithful. He is still loving. He is still kind. He is still good. His purposes for me have not changed. He is working for His glory and my good. It may not always feel good, but because God is good He has chosen to work inside me to work good in me.

Where Frustration Should Lead

Lately I have been frustrated. I've had questions. And so much of it is tied to desires. Desires for good things.
I wanted to volunteer at a hospital again. I put in an application. I prayed. I wanted to hold babies again. But I'm having to wait.
I wanted to be on the worship team at church. I wanted to be on stage lending my voice to lead people to God. There wasn't space. I ended up on the media team. In the background. It wasn't a thankless job, but my heart still longed for the stage.
I longed to be an inspirational blogger. To say things that make people think. To be shared. To be noticed. To have lots of comments. Sometimes people do and sometimes people don't. Sometimes it feels like wasted energy.
I have for a long time wanted to be married. To have one that I could love. I long for that attention and for a companion to walk alongside me. Still the singleness persists.
What is God doing in all of this? Is He trying to frustrate me? What is His purpose?
Maybe in all of these disappiontments are meant to point to Christ. Maybe they remind me Who the world really revolves around. The One who holds all things in His hands. The One who is working even in (sometimes especially in) the middle of pain for my good and His glory. Maybe in all of this was meant to show me that there is only One that truly satisfies. There is only One that truly fulfills.
My desires and how they get met is meant to bring honor to God. It is meant to showcase His love and care. It is meant to be His masterpiece of grace. It is all about Him. These desires are meant to propell me to the One who alone can satisfy the deepest cravings of my heart.
Maybe instead of trying to turn the spotlight on me and my desires, I should run to Him. In the middle of all my selfishness and self focus. In the middle of joy and laughter. In the middle of hurt and frustration. In the middle of it all I should cast myself on His mercy. I should remind myself of His worthiness. I should surrender to His touch. I should let Him reshape my desires. I should remember who is really the central focus.
Is this easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes!
Take some time right now. Wherever you are take a moment and let Him in. Remember His worthiness and let Him reshape your desires. He is a good and gracious God. He will do even more than you can imagine. Just let Him in.

Hope Is Real

Last night I went to Winter Jam. It was so much fun. Jamming out with Mandisa and Danny Gokey was so encouraging. 

I realized how far I've come. Two years ago I was in a relationship and looking more to my own interests than those of Christ or anyone else. Through a shattering of my will, He brought me into a better place. 

But breaking hurts. It's not fun or easy. It wasn't for me. I remember so many time wondering if I would ever be able to not cry when memories came up. I wondered if I would ever feel whole again. I wondered if would be able to go to a wedding without having a pity party. I wondered if I would ever feel truly alive and happy again with no pain or regret. I wondered if I would always feel broken, empty, and full of pain. I knew (and still know) that God was working, but my life seemed to be marked by my brokenness and pain. 

It didn't happen all at once, but over the last year God has done something amazing. He has changed my heart and healed me. He changed my hurt into hope. He transformed my heart. He replaced guilt with grace. He filled the emptiness with His love. Now my life is marked by His love and grace. 

Last night I realized how much He has changed inside me. I went to a wedding and was truly happy for the couple. I feel His presence more. I hear Him more. I see Him at work in so many areas. He's giving me joy and hope. 

There are still times when I struggle and cry. There are still times I fall into old sins and need to repent. I'm human. But He has brought the me so far. 

Now I am more sure than ever that the night isn't forever. The comeback is real. Our hope is sure. Grace is greater. Joy comes in the morning.

No matter where you are or what you are going through, God is with you. He is still working in you. He is writing a better ending. 

Let's take some time today and praise Him for what He has done, is doing, and will do. Let's praise God that He never leaves us. Let's praise Him for the better ending He is writing. 

Fun side story: the flowers pictured above were delivered to my house on the 13th of February. The note that came with it said, a reminder to find beauty in where you are, a Daughter of God, and the blessings that He gives you everyday! 

Talk about encouraging! They were such a tangible reminder of Gods love. I don't even know who sent them, but they blessed me more than I can say.