Thank You

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This week marks one year since my engagement was broken off.

While this is sad for me in a way, I also am extremely grateful. 

As I looked back on last year I remembered how much grace I was shown and how many people surrounded me with love. I thought of the loving God who sheilded me and cared for my broken heart day after day. I thought of the family that loved me and stood with me through the worst. I thought of the friends who supported me and loved on me. I thought of the counselor who turned my eyes back to God. I thought of the friend who reminded me who I am in Christ when I needed to hear it the most. There are too many to count. 

In short God has surrounded me by so much love and grace. I know I don't deserve it. Left to myself I botch things up every time. Controlled by God, I can show His love and grace to those who desperately need it. In Him, there is nothing that I can't do. 

As I look back I see so many people who cared for and supported me. That warms my heart. That makes me so grateful. 

If you have taken the time to encourage me in this year, thank you. Your encouragement has meant more than you know. 

Keep shining!

Waffles and Grace

This morning I had the best of intentions. I was going to make breakfast for my family. I pulled down the waffle maker and started mixing the batter. Then it started smelling like someone was  Burning chocolate in the kitchen. I opened the waffle maker to see that something had been left inside and was now smelling up the whole kitchen. My mom suggested that I stopped using that waffle maker and get the other one. So I did. Then as I was using that waffle maker it stuck to the sides instead of making into waffles. As I was trying to clean up that mess and start over my mom came in and offered to make me some pancakes and to clean up the mess. She knew I had to go to work today and  didn't want me to be late.
Not only that but she made me a pancake in the shape of a bear face. The gesture warmed my heart. It was such a Grace to me. She could have left me to clean up the mess by myself and be late for work, but instead she chose to come in make a great breakfast clean up the mess I had made and show me just how much she cares.
We have all at one time or another received this kind of Grace from God. He comes in and finds us in the middle of making a mess of our lives, our emotions, or our soul. And He gently takes us in His arms and offers to clean up the mess and to make us whole. We can choose how we respond. We can respond by shoving Him away and saying that we can clean it up on our own or we can accept His gracious offer and start to live the life that He designed. It's not easy and it means surrendering your rights to do it your way, but the fruits of doing it God's way are so worth it. Trust Him oh my soul. Trust Him with the mess that you find yourself in. And He will turn it into the greatest evidence of Grace in your life.

In 5 Years

Today I had a very sad moment. I was chatting with an old friend. We used to use this ancient form of communication called email and excanged a few emails way back. We would encourage each other and talk about our lives. Then we had lost touch for awhile. Like a few years. Recently we reconnected and were catching up. Today saddened me. I realized that the person she had become was one that was marked by pain, bad choices, and trying to prove that she's doing alright. 

I came away from the conversation sad because it's not what I want to become. 

I want to become a person who is marked by her radical love for God and others. I want to become a strong encourager of the Church and someone that is a blessing to those around her. I want to become the person that God wants me to be.  

But how do I get there? How do I look back five years from now and be closer to that goal? How do I become the person that God destined me to be? 

You do it the same way you build a house. One part at a time. One day at a time. No one wakes up one day and becomes an evil person. You do it in stages. You entertain bad thoughts. You make a compromise. And it starts a downward spiral. The opposite is also true. If you fight the flesh, live radically for God, and do what He sets before you, you will build a life that honors God. Even if you have made mistakes in the past, they don't have to determine your future. Because of Gods amazing grace we have the ability to build a life that honors God and lives out radical love to a hurting world. 

Today and everyday I want to chose to live life Gods way. I want to look back in five years and be thanking God for all that He has done, for the person that He has made me into. 

Let's see what Happens when we put 5 years of these days together. 

Dreams, Singleness, And A Lie

Recently I came to a conclusion that I'm a little ashamed to admit. Why? Because it's a lie that I grew up with and never faced head on. 

This was the lie - once I get married then I won't have to figure out what to do with my days anymore. Husband and kids will be what my life is all about. So my goal became to bide my time until I found the guy. Then I would keep a house, enjoy having a husband/best friend, and raise kids. That's it.

What I've been realizing is that God has a bigger plan for my life than just marriage and kids. The truth is that (according to my unofficial study of my married friends) there's so much more that God has for us to do. Marriage and raising kids are one of the things that He wants for us, but He also wants us to live radical lives that touch those around us for His Kingdom. This certainly includes marriage, but its not the totality of Gods plan to advance His Kingdom. 

This is changing how I look at my singleness. This time is not biding time until this guy shows up. This is a valuable time. A time to dream. A time to see God work. A time to take chances. A time to grow radically in God. A time to advance the Kingdom of God while not as distracted. 

So now whether single or married, my life is His. He has lavished beautiful radical love on me. My days are in His hands. 

He is too worthy just to bide time. He is too worthy to waste this season that I have been given living for myself. 

What do I do now? I can't change the past, but I can change how I move forward. God has given me today. He has given me another chance to dream. So I'm going to take it. I pray that over the next few months I can dream and use this time to its best potential. 

I want to live radically for the One who has given me His very life. 

So if you will excuse me until next time, I'm off to dream. 

Painting

Singleness paints a picture of Christ's sufficiency.
If you are single what picture are you painting?
Each of us takes up a brush at the beginning of the day.
We have paints before us.
Vibrant colors of praise and worship and love.
Deep hues of resentment and resistance and .
We choose.
We can dip our paintbrush into pain and bitterness.
We can dip into selfish tears and cry over what we wish was or what we wish we could change.
We can paint with colors of resistance to our present.
Or we can paint with colors of praise.
We can paint with grace and encouragement.
We can use the gifts that we have been given and honor the One who gave them.
We can use the love that has been lavished on us to paint a picture of His love.
We have a choice before us.
The paint brush is in your hand.
You choose your paint.
The canvas of the day is before you. 
As for me, I want the bright colors of praise and love to paint my day.
Let's go!