I Hope I Keep Getting Headaches

Recently I've been doing a lot of Bible study. I've been able to have time to study through Simple Seminary and take some Ellerslie online courses as well as read some solid Christian books.

Its been blowing my mind. The concepts and how big our God is give me a headache. I reach a point in my study where I come to the end of my knowledge. My brain is being stretched. My heart is full. So many times I've ended up worshipping God. Then there are the times when I'm listening and have to stop. I feel like my brain is exploding from so much good teaching that it can't fit one more thought in. I stop and worship God where my knowledge comes to an end.

Honestly I hope I keep having these moments throughout my life. Times when I just have to stop and worship the God I can't fully understand (Praise God that I can't). Times when I feel so full of good teaching that I feel like I can't take one more bite. Times when I get headaches from thinking about how amazing God is. 

I'm so thankful that God created us with a capacity to understand and study. Yet we reach a point where knowledge bows the knee in awed worship. 

Let us press ahead in study, not for knowledge sake, but to lead us into worship and relationship with God. He longs for relationship, let us press into it. It's worth the headaches. 

A Hope Surrendered

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I have held onto a hope for a long time. 

A hope of marriage.

A hope that one day a guy would look lovingly into my eyes and cherish me forever.

A hope of a happy home with children.

For years this hope has been deferred. 

For years my heart has been sick.

Recently I listened to what Darlene Diebler Rose did with a hope deferred.

She had a dream of living life with her husband after the war. 

She prayed and asked God for it to happen. 

Instead she received news that her beloved husband had died. 

She cried. 

She prayed. 

And then she surrendered her deferred hope to God. 

It's easy in many ways to surrender to God a fulfilled hope.

When all is smiles and joy, it is easy to gladly give Him the hope we treasure. 

But what do we do with deferred hope?

Hope that seems impossible.

Hope that is making your heart sick.

Hope that leaves a hole in your soul. 

I bring it to God.

I offer it up to Him.

I withhold nothing from the Savior who withholds no good thing from me.

I entrust this hope into His hands.

And in that moment He comes and fills my heart.

He comes and comforts me. 

He heals what has been sick. 

He fills the void. 

Christ is worthy of hopes fulfilled and those that are deferred. 

He is worthy of all.

Let me always surrender all into His hands.

The Vast God

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God is vast.

He fills the whole world. 

He is present everywhere. 

This is a truth too wonderful for me to wrap my mind around and for that I praise God. 

The fact that He is too much for me to wrap my head around is comforting.

Because I can't understand God completely I can be happy that He is greater than me. 

I can rest that He is enough in everything.

I can know that He is greater than everything that comes at me. 

Today ponder the vastness of God. 

Soak in the beautiful reality that He is too amazing for you to figure out. 

Revel in the fact that He fills the entire universe. 

Let your mind be blown by Him. 

16 Years

I got to watch the sun rise this morning. Today I celebrate being 16 years old in Christ.

As I look back on those years I'm incredibly thankful. At 12 Christ called me to be His own. At 13 or 14 He gave me my calling to be an encourager. Throughout the years He has been growing my faith and maturing me. Even though I went through a time of doubts He kept pursuing me. Through all my stumblings, epiphanies, sins, prayers, and seeking, He has continually drawn me. Even 3 years ago when I was running hard after my own selfish ends, He was there. I felt His hand of conviction. I saw His sustaining grace in the fallout. In the remaking He drew me to Himself. Even in the disappointments of last fall, God remained faithful and good.

Now as I sit here watching the world fill with light, I'm so thankful for who God is and all that He has done. In every moment He has been so good. He has been who He always is. The gracious and compassionate God. Slow to anger. Abounding in love to a thousand generations.

This God has had His hand on my life. I can see His fingerprints everywhere. His breath is in my lungs. His life fills me by the power of Jesus Christ.

Oh praise to God Most High. He rules and reigns forever and ever.

Lord, be exalted in my life. Let everything within me honor and desire You. Amen. 

Where I'm At

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Sometimes you have to start with where you are.
Sometimes you have to stop making excuses.
Sometimes you have to simply own up to the facts.
Sometimes you need to own where you are.
Why?
So that you can get to where you need to be.
So you can move past what is slowing you down.
So that you can remember how you got here.
So that you can be reminded whos you are.
You are in Christ.
You are chosen.
You are redeemed.
You have purpose.
You have so many reasons to walk forward.
If today you are struggling with where you are.
If today you want to change.
If today you can't see a way from where you are to where you want to be, there is hope.
There is hope for a better tomorrow.
There is a better place.
There is a life beyond words waiting to be unwrapped.
Come to God.
Start with where you are.
Let Him unfold the path to where you want to be.