Sunday, May 26, 2019

Don't Give Up


Recently I've been struggling with discouragement. Nothing huge has happened. Nothing terrible. But I have been fighting more discouragement than normal about the way my life is turning out.
Honestly I know I have a great life. Good God, good family, good friends, good place to call home, and so much more. Still it's not where I thought I would be.
I thought I would be married and raising kids by now. With a house of my own and my own ice blue and yellow kitchen (I love my mixer in this color).
Right now that is still a dream and some unexpected problems came up. Hormones seemed out of control. It seemed like so many things were chipping away at my confidence in God's plan. So many things (little annoyances) were making me want to give up. Making me want to pull back. Making me want to stop trying. Making want to stop fighting the war against sin. Making me want to focus more on me and my wants and desires than on God's plan. 
God always knows what you need. He provided me with two things that have helped greatly. One was that our church has been going through the book of Philippians. Talk about perspective. It has been full of reminders that Christ is worthy. That this life is just a foretaste of things to come. Christ is still at work. He is worth pressing ahead for. The other big one was Kyle Idlemans book Don't Give Up. It reminded me that I need to keep pressing ahead. I need to fight the good fight. I need to keep my eyes on Christ. I need to not check out. I need to keep doing what is right. 
Honestly some days I feel like I'm army crawling through mud with barbed wire overhead on a hot Texas day. It's been tempting to stop, put my face down in the mud and just feel sorry for myself. I'm tired. I don't want to fight one more battle. I don't want to have to ride this emotional wave. Why can't I have that relationship? Why do I struggle so much?   
It's then that I start hearing voices. Loved ones encouraging me to keep fighting. Friends reminding me of the truth. Best of all in front of me is Christ. Nail-scarred hands encourage me forward. He keeps reminding me that He's got me in the middle of it all. I'm never alone. I can keep pressing on.
By God's grace, I can keep going. Sometimes I'm able to walk tall smelling the roses and enjoy the sunshine. Other times I'm back on my stomach crawling through another battle. But I am still here. I'm still running. I haven't given up. I know the One who calls me is faithful. He will enable me to keep running the race for His glory.
Have you ever had a time when discouragement was eating away at your confidence? What helped you to not give up?

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